Thursday, January 26, 2006


Drumroll, please....

It's that time again -- when I look through search phrases people used to find this blog and cut 'n' paste the ones that catch my eye. I like to post these because they make me wonder what people are looking for on the internet. Some are really obvious, but some? Well, you be the judge.

I'm going to break them into some categories today.

Sexually Related
May as well start it off right, right?

  • Okinawa whore
    Concise and to the point.

  • big japanese ass
    Good luck, keep searching.

  • girls fucked by barbarians
    I'm not sure what to say about that one.

  • japanese girl looking for friends
    "friends" eh?

  • groping girls
    ". . ."

  • Vanessa Williams+Herpes
    This is weird because I believe Ryan had the same hit on his blog.

  • "japanese girl" roppongi
    Uuh huh..

  • people getting fucked in public places
    Again, someone who knows what they want. Maybe he and the barbarian guy should link up.

  • gaijin roppongi "japanese girl"
    Google that. The results are funny.

    Google is God
    When I was roommates with Sam and I'd ask him a question he didn't know, he'd simply reply, "I don't know, let me ask God" and he'd google it. Anyway, I get a kick out of how people don't seem to understand the concept of "keywords" and ask Google questions stuff like it's the Oracle at Delphi. (I mean, it is, but you gotta ask it the right way.)

  • need something to attach to the top of the cubicle dividers to make them taller
    "Yeah, so, hey Google, um, I need blahblahblah."

  • why do people think profanity is ok
    Because it is.

  • what does sociopath mean
    I'm flattered.

    Et cetera

  • crackbabies
    I always liked that one.

  • DMZee roppongi
    I have about 5 variations on this, all with DMZee in it, probably because Tommy works there.

  • "spit bottles"
    I'm not sure why someone would google this. Maybe they were looking at buying a spitter? Ordering one online?

  • pics of disembowlment

  • japanese sharking video
    I had 3 variations on this - I think it's referring to those ships that catch sharks, cut off their fins, and throw em back in the water.

  • funniest miscommunication stories about American and British toilets
    I was unaware that there were miscommunication stories about American and British toilets, or that the toilets are so vastly different, that one would be confused where to drop one's deuce.. I googled it and amazingly enough, I came up empty.

  • creepy towns(pics)

  • Our God is an Awesome God -Song

  • dudikoff golf
    Apparently karate isn't this man's only obsession.

  • compulsive liars quiz
    I wonder what the questions are?

  • Diddy Mao
    Four variations on "diddy mao"

  • "ninjas kidnapped my family"
    Mine too, bro.

  • living with a sociopath
    Someone was doing some serious sociopath research.

  • Nigerians in Shibuya
    There are some in Shibuya, but less than in other places......

  • schmolocaust
    Apparently comedian Scott Capuro said,“Holocaust, schmolocaust, can't they whine about something else?” So I appear to, once again, be unoriginal.

  • "wearing guinness" gay
    Yeah, I thought so too.

    Blogger brando said...

    Of course the first thing I thought was "How in the H.E. double hockey sticks did paul get that information?" So.... How did you do it? Also, I'd like to note that very few people are kidnapped by ninjas. Kidnapping is beneath them. That tends to be a theme of south western asia.

    11:50 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I tried to figure out how any of those could apply to you Paul, so I wrote some software that actually mimicked your thought process. The first thing that it did was sneeze incessently for like 5 minutes( how is that even possible?)then it spit this out:

    1. Nigerian ninjas, in Shibuya, kidnapped my family while wearing "Guiness is Gay" t-shirts.

    hmm, confusing enough...but then this...

    2. I am living with a sociopath, who enjoys playing Dudikoff golf on the weekends and has been overheard saying, " Holocaust Shmolocaust, bullshit-ass-zionist"

    I immediately pulled the plug and buried the disk in lye.

    11:44 AM  

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