Saturday, December 24, 2005

I Hate Roppongi, aka I'm a Drunken Retard

Some of you might be wondering what Roppongi is. Some of you might have heard of it. Some of you might think Roppongi is the greatest place on Earth.

I'll break it down for you.

Among other things, Roppongi is an area in central Tokyo that happens to contain an enormous amount of bars of every type. It's where foreigners typically go, so it attracts every manner of scumbag you can possibly imagine. Drinks (weak drinks) typically run somewhere between 500yen to 800yen (it's like 120yen to $1), and while cover charges are rare, it's anywhere from 1000 to 3000yen (with a drink ticket or 2). Walking down the street you are accosted by Nigerians trying to get you into their bar/strip club, and if you are a guy by yourself or with other guys, Chinese masseuses trying to get you to get a massage. I ran across the street to get Tommy a few cheeseburgers at McDonalds (he's working at DMZee) and was solicited by no fewer than 3 Chinese masseuses asking me if I'd like a massage or if I "wanted to go home." I was outside for like 5 minutes.

As you can probably imagine, you can get into all types of trouble in Roppongi if you're not careful. It's really the only place in Japan that I don't feel totally safe. People are always trying to scam you, and there are tons of people from a multitude of under developed nations hoping to relieve you of some of your hard earned yen. Every time I go there, I walk away about $120 poorer. The only reason I spent just $100 last night was because I was getting free drinks at DMZee, and at a different place I had some friends buying me (or stealing me) drinks. (Sorry to the person that left that unopened Heineken on the table.)

Here's a list of things that were reinforced to me last night.

1) Don't go to Roppongi. There are plenty of other cool places in Tokyo to go.

2) If you go, don't go with a girl you like, cuz guys there have no respect for your relationship. They think they can "steal her" from you even though they have no game and don't know how to dress, resulting in them getting shoved/screamed at by me.

3) Apparently groping girls and forcing them into corners is an acceptable courtship ritual in this society.

4) Most Japanese guys in Roppongi are fags and have no skills with women. Their idea of picking up a woman is touching her like an animal, resulting in them getting shoved/screamed at by me. then they say "a, gomennasai.." (that means, oh, sorry)

5) Many Japanese guys there will try (most unsuccessfully) to "be the girl's friend" and be a mediator when arguing with her, and get shoved/screamed at by me. then they say "a, gomennasai.."

6) If you're a girl, don't ever say to me, "I want to see what you're like when you're really drunk!" thinking it will be funny and entertaining. It's not, and I will tell you that, and you will most likely not believe me. It will backfire on you and you will probably cry.

7) I seem pretty stable, but I'm not. It's a big facade.

8) Don't go to Roppongi.

So the whole screaming/shoving thing. I'm not a jealous type, but don't be disrespectful to a girl I'm with. That's gonna evoke a reaction from me, anywhere from getting yelled at to getting smacked. Even though I was pretty well into my cups, I didn't wanna get kicked out of a place that I spent 3000 yen to get into, and recently I've been keeping acts of violence restricted to when I'm sober for some reason.

One incident was kinda funny -- I was going to the bar with my little las, and some guy was standing with his back to the bar and started dancing like he was kinda dancing with her. I was right behind her. I looked at him and made the 'cut off' motion with my hand, and he looked really surprised and said, "Oh, sorry dude! I didn't mean to be disrespectful!" I think people are just seeing what they can get away with. I don't think he was particularly concerned about being disrespectful at all, but I appreciated the gesture. I just fucking hate it when guys will do the whole "oh I'm just trying to be friends with both of you!" while trying to pick up a chick you're with. At DMZee I went to the bathroom and when I came back some Half French/Half Japanese dude was talking to the girl. (Keep in mind, we were obviously together.) I came back and he said to me in his French accent, "I hope you don't mind if I kept your girl occupied while you were in the bathroom." Then he started chatting me up and asking me if I was a surfer cuz I was wearing a quicksilver shirt. Get some game, dude. Stay off my nuts. I know what you're doing and I don't like it.

So that's that. I might seem paranoid, but Roppongi is what it is, and being a guy, I know what guys are thinking. The girl I've been "kickin it" with is good looking, so it doesn't surprise me that guys act the way they do, but it doesn't make it any less irritating.

More later; Merry Christmas!!


Blogger Jinxy said...

Fucking Japs.

1:42 AM  
Anonymous brando said...

Merry Christmas Paully. I love how you state that you're not stable. If I say that I'm not stable, do I get to go around slapping folks too?

12:47 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

You're mistaking cause and effect, my friend. Slapping is a hallmark of stability, because it's much less mean than punching. Slapping makes people stable again. Kinda like shaking a piece of electronics equipment when it's not working.

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Having been surrounded by a group of Nigerians and punched solidly in the chest by one of them (because I was white) I have concluded that Rappongi Nig**rs should be murdered.. but slowly over a spit roast.

Death to all Rappongi Nig**rs, the racist violent scum!

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree. I wasent a racists till i went to roppongi. If you nigerian nig*er cocks suckers see this you should all die. every one of your black piece of craps

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys sound like the loosers which you all are.
Dont hate the player, hate the game. Dick suckers

3:50 PM  
Blogger Cristian said...

Well I was in tokyo for about 6 weeeks. am from ecuador but I'd beenn7 years in New York.
What I think about roppongi is that is similar (NY, Guayaquil ), roppomgi is like a jungle where u go w/our girl friend. nut if u want to meet a nie girl contry side is good ., But one nite stand maybe u have similar addds in roppongi as in any other place.

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lived in Tokyo for one year, never went to Roppongi. Stories like this are why. :-)

5:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live in the states and will be visiting Japan . Same shit here , lest I profile, pretty much every club you go, the black dudes think and act like they own the fucking place . most of the time starting shit with all their macho crap. lest I profile , maybe that is why 95 % of the crime / murders / rape in my small city are committed by black men. sorry , it must be their economic position that makes them do it !

10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lived in Japan for almost 3 years and moving to Tokyo in a few months. I am in Roppongi now. It is not as bad as some are making it out to be. You have you shopping and your nightlife. I wouldn't recomend going out alone, but really why would you want to. I find it much more fun to have a wingman. Since most japanese women go out with their friends it is all good. As long as their friend isn't alone then they are down.

10:26 AM  
Blogger Hiroshi said...

I'm Nigerian, I'm sorry that most of them there behave that way... but i assure you we are peace loving people.. most of them there have been twisted by the will to make money... A Nigeria is very proud where ever he is thats why they insult when you don't comply, this does not make it acceptable... But please Accept my apology on behalf of every Nigerian in these Roppongi places giving trouble.... Let me show you what will get to them; When they misbehave at you again, remind them if there mothers and fathers will be happy at them doing this... remind them about the disgrace they bring upon their father Land... ask them have they forgotten God because of hardship and corruption... Any Normal Nigerian that grew up at home will be called to reason.

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@ that Hiroshi nigerian dude: im pretty sure asking them what their parents would think and those things would make the situation worse... much worse. i however feel how youre touched by the bad rep these kind of articles give to your people, being myself from a country with bad rep.

12:33 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home