Monday, October 01, 2007


...but let's keep it real here, my babies -- taidaima and okaeri are relative. But you knew that already didn't you?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand SCENE!

Let's lighten it up a little bit, via some vids posted on my beloved AoSHQ. It seems SNL has done it again.

And when you're done digesting that, this one is quick but definitely good for the lulz:

So anyway, I'm back from the funniest country on the planet, the United States of America.
International travel gives me a great sense of accomplishment for a number of reasons, but what makes me feel proudest is how much I can contribute to thetransference of matter.

It may be just an urban legend, but some "scientists" like to say that matter is neither
created nor destroy, it just changes form. Carl Sagan used to like to say that we were "starstuff". Now we all know that both of these statements are a load of hooey, but it's fun to think about nonetheless, and maybe someday we can put them and thosepeople who think we "evolved" from "apes" in a "camp" where they're all "concentrated" together and we can make a little party of it.

Anyway, the highlight of my trip is to go to the east coast, eat beef from cows that were grazed on grass from the US of A, which was nourished from the feces and corpses of American animals, flying back to Japan, and contributing to the local sewage system. Can you think of a more puretransference of matter? In a hippie sort of way.

It sounded a lot better when I thought it up in the bathroom during the cathartic transferred matter delivery session I had after I got home...

It was an awesome trip. The people I hung out made me miss living in the USA, but the people I spend most of my time around (Americans I don't know) made me happy I don't. Thanks to everyone who took time out of their regularly scheduled broadcast to come out and hang, and I
can't wait to see you again. I hope you all make it out to Japan one of these years.

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Blogger A Unique Alias said...

You sonofabitch! You took our burgers, our cattle, our grains - - no, our very soil - - and gave it to the Japanese!

3:01 AM  
Blogger Sparkles Anon! said...

Wish I could have met you on Friday - sounds like you sure can tell a story or two!

10:32 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

It was a really great time had by all. And yeah, god help the world when i have a willing audience and a few drinks in me. :)

12:04 PM  
Blogger Hammer said...

Glad we were able to coordinate a meeting of the International Association of Photoshop Dorks. It was easily one of the most hilarious boozing sessions I've ever had in DC. Truly outstanding.

7:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a good rant going about your engrish Paul, but it was way too much fun seeing you to mess with you right now. Anyway, come back again soon...the squizzles miss you.

12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, manure and shit. The Japanese sure love them. If you're a manga reader, you'll note the various cute scribblings on piles of shit in the background of a scene or frame. Some have wide open eyes and a beaming smile (Aqua Knight comes to mind). Hell, some of the piles of shit even talk!
Next time you export/import "American Made" stool and push it out in Japan, why don't you do it outside and observe how the local flies like it. After you have cleansed your colon of the American junk, and feel that you have a true "Japanese Made" stool, push it out near the location of the American Made stool and observe. Hopefully, you'll let us readers know how the local flies behaved towards those two stool samples.

Frank W.
Chantilly, VA

9:52 AM  

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