Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Thar she blows!

A hump like a.. Oh my. Oh my god.

That was the scene last week, according to an article entitled Whale harpooned, hauled in by Japanese boat in front of whale-watching tourists.

SAPPORO -- Eco-tourists on a whale-watching vessel, looking forward to observing the mighty creatures in their natural habitat, were instead greeted by the sight of a harpooned whale being dragged in by a Japanese whaling vessel on Friday.

At about 10:44 a.m. on Friday, a whale was spotted spraying water from its blowhole near a whaling boat, about 3.5 kilometers away from the whale-watching vessel off the coast of Hokkaido's Shiretoko Peninsula. But when the vessel approached, the passengers on board found that the whalers had harpooned the Baird's beaked whale, and it was hauled in by the whaling boat about 20 minutes later.

I'm not really sure why this article gave me such a case of the giggles. Maybe it was because the people on board we referred to as "eco-tourists". Or maybe it was because the article said that "a French woman who was on the vessel with her husband reportedly said the experience made her feel ill".

What's worse than a boatload of eco-tourists? A boatload of French eco-tourists.

Toshifumi Nakamura, the whaling ship's captain, was quoted as saying, "Nothing says 'eco-tourism' like a column of blood and sputum shooting out of a whale's blowhole. The vomit and tears of anguish from the whale watchers also serve as chum for many types of fish, which we catch and eat for lunch."

A baby-seal troller that happened to be in the area snapped a picture of the distraught French woman.

That stuff wasn't in the actual article, but I'm pretty sure that's how it went down.

This part was in the article though:

The 46-year-old captain of the passenger vessel was disappointed by the incident, which took place about 14 kilometers east of Rausu Port in Hokkaido.

"It's my job to show people whales and it's the whalers' job to catch them, but I wonder how this can be avoided," he said.

Here's a tip: Bring binoculars. Or a spyglass, which you should already have if you're the Captain of a Vessel. It said the whale and the whaling ship were 3,500m away when they headed over. That's just over 2 miles - not far. If you're running a whale watching tour with a bunch of crazy French eco-tourists and you see a whaling ship approaching a whale, don't go towards it. I'm just spit-ballin' here, but it also might be better if you didn't run your whale watching tours where whales are harvested.

Another thing that made me chuckle is the fact that I'm sure the whaling captain knew that the whale watchers were there, but just cruised by with a giant whale corpse lashed to his ship. "Oh, was I not supposed to butcher this fellah? I thought you guys wanted a better look. Here's a close up."

Mental note: Don't whale watch in countries that like eating whales. Especially Japan, where when they don't feel like being told what to do, they do what you don't want them to do times a thousand right in front of you.

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Blogger Hammer said...

I was doing alright until I hit the weeping mime. That's when the coffee hit the screen.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

see what i did there? the lolzers were just a feint and you were all like "psh the lolz thing was played out with the lolzing baby seal getting clubbed" and then BLAM you got mimed.

again, nice to see you back.

10:24 PM  
Blogger Hammer said...

BLAM is right!

I dunno, something about that photo just works. Maybe it's the effective combination of the elegantly simple and the completely retarded. I still have the giggles from the stupid thing.

With your permission, I'd like to send that pic to the first guy I give a serious whuppin' to in my fantasy football league.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

psh, of course! i stole the mime pic in the first place, so im not gonna be stingy with it.

6:12 PM  
Blogger Sparkles Anon! said...

That mime picture is AWESOME.

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally off topic, Paully.

It looks like the honeymoon is over and Accountability has come to town.



P.S. That homeschool spaz needs to spend some time in mainstream US culture.

11:58 PM  

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