Thursday, September 22, 2005

Memories and Green Turtles

Well, I just got back from a conference back in the states. All in all, it was a good trip, because I got to see a lot of my friends in DC during the weekends on the front-end and the ass-end of the trip. Good stuff. Here’s what happens:

Oh yeah, another thing that happens is my friends get launched from a bar in Fell’s Point, Baltimore. I don’t think they’ll be requiring our patronage at the Green Turtle in the foreseeable future… I’ve seen a lot of weird things in bars, but I’ve never seen someone (James) throw take someone’s hat off and throw it across the bar “on impulse.” But jesus, the guy man-shoved my friend for dancing around and giving him a playful bump. Yeah, you’re tough, man-shove a tall gangly skinny guy and back down when someone waaaay smaller than you takes your hat off and chucks it across the bar. And pretend you don’t remember when you leave and we’re all hanging around outside giggling. Quote of the night: when asked to leave by the bouncer, Mr. James says, “if you touch me I’ll punch you.” The whole time I, of course, was giggling like a retard.

It was awesome to see my friends – two of them flew up, and I was hanging out with people I hadn’t seen in longer than 4 years. That’s always a good time, especially when nothing about hanging out with them changes. It was hard to get used to the whole “bars closing before the sun rises” thing, which I’m sure I’ll never get used to. I think Hawaii was a happy medium, with bars closing at 4am. However, I never welcomed the gauntlet of homosexuals sharking the streets of Waikiki and asking if I wanted to “hang out.” Or following me around in their cars.

I was pretty eager to get back into my routine here, and I think I have pretty well. I’m taking today off from physical activity ‘cuz I didn’t do anything for 10 days, and I don’t wanna fuck myself up. Plus my body hurts at the moment.

I was looking through some pictures I’d forgotten that I had from Afghanistan, and I never posted them anywhere for some reason I think they caught my attention because they were taken the day before and the day of my birthday. The first one is of me and the owner of a bar called The Lighthouse, which was just down the street from our compound. I was quite drunk at the time, and she eventually passed out on the bar. We used to go there sometimes and hope the Nepalese guys wouldn’t tell on us when we got back, which they always did, and there would be a shit storm the next day. Keep in mind, it was a 3 minute walk, and we all had either asps and/or pepper spray and/or berettas.

This one is one of the South Africans named Craig. Before we went, he kept saying how he was just going to blend in and behave himself ‘cuz he was married and he didn’t want to “stand out.” He forgot that some time before trading shirts with one of the waitresses (which made him look pretty sexy huh) . Notice the look of unmitigated joy spread across his face.

This one was particularly reminiscent for me, ‘cuz it’s how I spent almost the entire month of October. I remember thinking that that was an amazing month, because I literally worked a total of about 10 hours the entire time. Otherwise, I was doing exactly what I was doing in the picture:

  • Gun laying on the floor
  • CNN on TV
  • Spit bottles everywhere (god bless you, Copenhagen)
  • Door wide open (our lights didn’t work)
  • Me wearing a jacket (it was really chilly)

    This one was on my 28th Birthday, when Sam and I were taking warlord pictures. Like the keyboard under my laptop? Yeah, the really important keys on my laptop keyboard decided that they didn’t wanna work, so I bought a wireless keyboard at the Italian supermarket. God bless you too, Cianos! (I guess the lights worked that night.)

    And let’s not forget Afghanisam in full force. Notice how the book Imperial Hubris is sitting on the bed. Irony?

    And finally, the view right outside our room. Good thing they put up that “sniper net” to protect us from potential snipers on rooftops, eh? Ahahahah

    Ok, so that’s all for now. I haven’t been posting much ‘cuz I’m uninspired I guess. Aah well.

    Blogger Jinxy said...

    I love getting thrown out of bars.

    I like to see how far I can insult someone to their face before they either hit me in the face or threaten to call the police.

    I consider it a lifelong pursuit.

    9:15 PM  
    Anonymous Sam said...

    I'm sad that I missed out. West Texas has sucked the jet-set out of me. I can report that life out here fits the stereo-type perfectly: football, oil, Jesus, and driving under the influence; God bless. Not having any of my friends in close proximity means that I've had to sober up a bit, publicly at least, (very boring).

    So, are these conferences going to be routine?

    1:45 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...


    Entertaining as always, and I, for one, enjoyed the pics--I kinda miss the Stan a little bit still. Have you got Skype? Life in SD/PB is alright so far, if a bit tame, but I'm pretty optimistic about school. Bonus: I'm living .5 mile from the beach.

    1:51 AM  

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