Wednesday, October 26, 2005

KIA2K hath arrived.......

A few months ago, Brando and I were talking about how much pleasure certain individuals in the media seem to take when a US service member dies. Obviously they're not having a party (though some people undoubtedly are), but let's be honest -- a running count of soldiers portrayed as innocent, dumb lambs from the heartland duped into dreams of free college and travel to exotic places coming home in body bags makes some public figures cry in public and tap dance in private.

So why am I talking about this? Well, folks, KIA2K is upon us. That's right, the official tally is 2000 service members killed in Iraq. As quoted by the Irish Times:

The US military death toll in the 2½-year Iraq war has reached the milestone of 2,000 with the announcement by the Pentagon yesterday of the death of a US soldier at a hospital in Texas over the weekend.

Keyword: Milestone.

That's a loaded word, eh?

Here are some quotes from Yahoo News that I got a big kick out of.

"Our armed forces are serving ably in Iraq under enormously difficult circumstances, and the policy of our government must be worthy of their sacrifice. Unfortunately, it is not, and the American people know it." -- Sen. Edward Kennedy

Nice. "Good job guys, you're dying for no reason, and everyone knows it." What an asshole.

"More than 135,000 troops remain in Iraq. They did not ask to be sent to war, but each day, they carry out their duty while risking their lives. It is only reasonable that the American people, and their elected representatives, ask more questions about what the future holds in Iraq." -- Sen. Robert Byrd

I can jive with this one a little more -- it's important to question what's going on. I do, however, take issue with "They did not ask to be sent to war." I'd be interested to see the figures of people serving now and when their enlistment papers were signed, or how many people came back in after a break in service. Probably a pretty high number around, oh, I dunno, Sept 2001ish??? So 135,000 people in Iraq didn't ask to go to war. What did they think the military was, Rompa Room? I've said it about a million times -- even if all of your preconceived notions about the military (before you joined) were based on 80s action flicks and starship troopers, shame on you for not knowing what you were getting into. Just because there's nothing on the enlistment papers that says, "Check one: I request to be sent to War ( ) Yes ( ) No" doesn't excuse that kind of rhetoric.

Another cute one:
"It was unclear who was the 2000th service member to die in Iraq since the U.S. military often delays death announcements until families are notified."

Damn. We'd better get to the bottom of that one so we can go to their house and interview their parents/wife/kids and ask them how it feels, cuz being number 2000 is faaar more significant than number 1, 2, 243, 1647, or 1999.

Lt Col Steve Boylan said:
"I ask that when you report on the events, take a moment to think about the effects on the families, and those serving in Iraq. The 2000 service members killed in Iraq supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom is not a milestone."

Some Irish blokes would disagree.

Here's some DOA2K milestones that we don't hear about:
  • When the 2000th person of the year is killed in a car accident
  • When the 2000th person of the year ODs on drugs
  • When the 2000th person of the year is murdered randomly
  • When the 2000th child dies from child abuse/negligence
  • When the 2000th high school kid of the year commits suicide

    I guess those things are just "status quo." Part of the risk of being born in the USA, eh? Campaigning for those sorts of things doesn't win a presidential race I guess...

    So I beseech the general American population: Don't pretend like you care about the military. You can't spend decades demonizing service members on popular TV dramas and movies, making them the butt of your jokes, calling them stupid and uneducated, and working bit by bit to emasculate and destroy the effectiveness of the military during times of peace, then turn around and act like you care about service members or have a clue about anything military related. Here are a few fun facts I've run into about many people who claim to be "anti-military" (a hysterical notion in and of itself):

  • Don't know the four branches of service, or that there are 4 distinct ones
  • Think that the Army and Marines are the same; think that all airplanes belong to the Air Force
  • Don't know the difference between an Officer and Enlisted
  • Think that being "anti-military" is perfectly reasonable

    ...And apparently I'm brainwashed. Good to see that these people "know their enemy". Hi, welcome to Earth.

    Anyway, that's all I have to say on that.
  • Thursday, October 20, 2005

    Happy Birthday Dear Update, Happy Birthday to me.

    Warning: This is the most poorly written blog I've ever spewed out, but it's my birthday blog so myeh! (as you can see it's also going to be the most mature one)

    Well peeps, it's been a bit, so I thought I'd throw out a little update.

    Yesterday was my birthday, so happy birthday to me. I wrote on Adventurestan during my last birthday, which was far more unusual than this year's birthday. I did absolutely nothing yesterday. After work I went up to the jiujitsu gym and rolled around for a bit, came home, ate some quaker rice cakes, and passed the fuck out. Hopefully my birthday will stop being on such shitty days of the week.

    I guess I had a romantic evening with this fellah.

    There was an earthquake yesterday here in Japan, over 6 on the old richter scale. No one died. I didn't feel it because I was barreling down the Odakyuu line on a freaking train. Ain't that some shit?? I read today that 79,000 people have died from that earthquake in Pakistan. That blows my mind. 79,000 people is a ridiculous amount of people.

    Hopefully some clerics blame the USA.

    I hear numbers like that, and numbers from the tsunami, and then I hear dramatic sound-bites from people talking about Katrina, and I simultaneously want to laugh hysterically and punch someone in the throat. For instance:

    Uuh, hey motherfucker, you've never been to a 3rd world country, have you? You know what happens in 3rd world countries when natural disasters happen???? One thing's for certain -- the Cafe Beignet sure as fuck doesn't open 6 weeks later.

    Why stop there? Why not just say "IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE!!" Afraid of looking New-Orleao-Centric?? Well, hate to break it to you, but you already are.
    Galviston Texas got hurricane-fucked way worse than you in 1900

    Talk is so cheap. I think anyone who publicly declared stuff like that should be forced to take Red Cross money for Katrina victims and give it to the descendents of the Galveston hurricane, or sent to Pakistan to see what it's like to live in a 3rd World Country.

    Yeah, that's ridiculous, I know, but it's the best I could come up with. Spite is spite.

    So Florida is about to get rocked again by another hurricane. Hurricane Wilma. I think they should play a recording of Fred Flinstone screaming "WIIIILLLMMAAAA" 24/7 in Florida, just to try and scare the hurricane away. May as well. I like how Jeb Bush was quoted as saying, 'Why us?" To me, "Why us" and "Why me" means "Why not someone else?" I guess the Lord is an equal opportunity murderer. He's massacred too many brown people this year, so he's gotta take out some whiteys...

    I'm not sure how much play this is getting in the USA, but the Prime Mister of Japan is pissing off the rest of Asia because he keeps visiting Yasukuni Shrine. I think it's pretty cool that he visits there. Yeah, there are some war criminals remembered there, and the Japanese did some really heinous shit during WWII, but if I were him, and China and Korea told me that I shouldn't be visiting a memorial for people who fought and died for my country, no matter what their motives, I'd tell them to fuck themselves too. Koizumi said, "No foreign country should take issue with the way we express our condolences for the war dead." Fuck'n-A right.

    Those of us who are fortunate enough to be Americans can relate to that. (flag wave flag wave) Our cultural war cry is "You're not the boss of me," "Don't tell me what to do," and "Go fuck yourself." Wasn't that what the whole revolution was based on? Or something?

    Yeah, I said it. I said "fortunate enough to be American." I like my cultural identity.. And anyone who says "America doesn't have a culture" is asking to get verbally pimp slapped by yours truly.... and I'm not even really talking about pop culture, though that bears mentioning I suppose. Some of you might be thinking, "WELL THEN WHY AREN'T YOU IN AMERICA YOUR [sic] HIDING IN JAPAN LOLZ [sic]"..... hmm, well, anyone who would say that doesn't know me, so they can lick muh butt. I get the last laugh, cuz their tax money pays my salary.

    How petty can I be? Yippeeskippee, I'm 29 years ancient.

    I'll leave you with this display of maturity from last weekend. I hump men, and they appear indifferent.

    I made a Quiz about myself. Take my Quiz and then check out the Scoreboard. I think that only people who have been around me in recent history will do well..
  • Tuesday, October 04, 2005

    ...and the winner is....

    One thing my friend Ryan used to do a lot was post results from search engines that led people to his page. I've done this a couple times, so I think I'll do it again. Here are the results for Adventurepan, rated from most to least frequent (though I should mention that #2 was only searched for a total of 5 times):

  • adventurepan
  • "Andrew Hong" AND "Marine Corps"
  • "Andrew Hong" Marine
  • son of clownops
  • "Andrew Hangi Hong"
  • war of the worlds tripod clips
  • i am a fascist
  • Japanese festival--Obon
  • airborne tattoo
  • motorscooter pics.
  • blogs: motorscooter
  • disembowlment pics
  • awesome god
  • "Andrew Hong" and Marine
  • chris farley chip in dales
  • pictures of the god pan
  • compulsive liars

    As you can see, people looking for fat koreans and "Awesome Gods" have stumbled upon my blog on more than a few occasions. This makes me kind've happy cuz I post here fairly infrequently, and when I do post, it's usually a bunch of bullshit anyway. Plus I hate obese Koreans and organized religion. Go figure.