Monday, November 19, 2007

Ye Olde Shitty Exchange Rate

Yeah, we're all feeling the exchange rate over here, especially those of us paid in U.S. Dollars. I feel for the people in Europe though, and I feel for myself because I want to go to Europe next year in April and it's going to be incredibly expensive.

So I was reading this article today talking about some folks' reactions in Europe and I got a bit of a chuckle.

Apparently there's this woman in her 60s, one Eunice Lipton, who weighed in on the subject:

"The dollar is having a terrible impact on us," said U.S. writer Eunice Lipton, a New Yorker who most of the year lives in Paris with her husband, artist Ken Aptekaar.

It's really important that you read any quote by her in a faux-high-society accent.

"We earn our money primarily in the States and then transfer it here. In the last few days we have transferred $15,000 which became 10,200 euros and that is killing us," she said.

Oh, Eunice. I'm sure it's going to be a lean winter for you and your husband.

She continues:

"I can't complain because the Americans have had it round the other way for years. I'm in my 60s and I've been coming here since I was 19 and most of that time I've been able to eat in great restaurants for very little money," she said.

"In the past, I knew the exchange rate was great for us and I sort of gloated about it, without trying to be rude. Now our terms of reference are different. It is not amusing. I just hope it gets better."

Oh, it is "not amusing"? I'm sure that for someone who is "amused" by things such as a transferring 5-figure amounts here and there and spending most of your time in France, this would indeed be most "not amusing". And also, thank you for just "sort of" gloating about it, so as not to be rude.

She goes on, showcasing her aversion to rudeness:

"It's not going to make me go back to America," said Lipton in Paris.

"It won't stay this way. (President George W.) Bush hasn't cared at all about what the dollar is worth because he is so provincial. Americans are provincial in general and most of them don't even realize what the dollar is worth overseas."

I love this attitude. Americans aren't aware of the U.S. exchange rate overseas because they're "provincial"....not because they aren't transferring large sums of money into foreign currency. The reason she is aware of the exchange rate is because she's non-provincial and wuuuuuhldly....not because she is transferring large sums of money into foreign currency. Right? Right? How rare -- "worldly" people dismissing those who don't share their interests as "provincial". What what?? You don't know that the dollar is weakening against the yen? You rube! And what's this you say? You weren't aware that Japanese whalers are alpha-maling their way into protected waters to commence Humpback Holocaust '07? Hilljacks, every one of you!!

I'm sure blaming Bush gets her a lot of mileage out there in Gay Pair-ee too.

Frenchman: "Zee doll-air! Eet eez, eeeh, how you say, seaux leaux!"

Her Royal Highness Mizz Lipton: "BusHitler McChimpyBurton!"

Frenchman: "liouxlz!"

Dear Eunice,
While I'm not in the US of A right now, I'll go out on a limb and say that most Americans care about as much about the exchange rate in France as they do about whether or not it will "make you go back to America" or not. Why? Not because they're provincial, but because neither has any bearing on their world view. Am I saying that the international exchange rate doesn't effect them? Of course not. But they're not feeling it directly, so it's completely off their radar, relevant or not. In the meantime, I'm sure you'll be tightening your belt and preparing for a winter consisting of baguettes and water. Maybe you can throw some cheese in there to clear your palate of that nasty crow taste that your French friends are going to make you eat after living all fat and arrogant for so long.

Love always from the provinces,


Blogger Hammer said...

For every 20 Americans who live and travel abroad in a constructive manner that makes people re-examine their views on Americans, there's a Eunice Lipton who wrecks the whole thing in one fell interview.


Incidentally, if this post doesn't cry out for a rerun of the "Le weep! Le boo-hoo!" photo, I don't know what does.

12:05 AM  
Anonymous Tony said...

I'm so provincial, I had to look up the definition of provincial.

2:34 AM  
Anonymous AUA said...

That post was so good that I cannot comment in a constructive way which builds upon the original thought.

Seaux Leaux? Fucking brilliants.

11:27 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

hammer -- that picture will make an appearance, but its power should be used sparingly. ill keep it behind glass, along with my baseball cap and your boots, just in case.

tony -- in that case you should look up "sodomy" and "unnatural sex acts with men"

aua -- i think a collaboration effort is called for. we can make a blog where we just sharpshoot peoples' quotes in mainstream media articles. you cover domestic usa, ill cover expats, and jinxy can cover the hearing impaired.

11:37 PM  
Blogger cyberninja said...

...and I'll cover things overheard at D&D conventions.

Eunice's thoughts are a shining example of what have become to be known as Boomerisms. May I recommend this link for all your Boomerism needs.*

*Warning, may be offensive (but still funny) to those born between 1946-1964.

12:39 AM  
Anonymous Tony said...

Paul- I tried to look up the things you told me to. I used Webster's online but it just kept linking to your blogger profile. That's weird.

Just kidding, my priest taught me about both of those things... over and over again.

2:36 PM  
Blogger bucket said...

I never got that whole exchange thing, because I lived in Europe and most everything cost too much anyways, so any advantage from the rate gets lost. Even as a kid I realized that my money wasn't getting me very far on my holidays at the sweet shops.

My nan's house sold so I get like my inheritance, it is tiny so I am not being the least bit whuuuuuurdly anyways this is the first time I can remember the British Pound being 2 to 1. So yay for the lowly dollar.

I read the the Japanese yen is the one to be weary of, it's fall is apparently far more of troublesome globl indicator than the USD. Something to do with the fact it is the currency many borrow (0% interest rate) to do big wuuuuuurdly finance stuff with.

I also read all the US rappers videos have them handling Euros now, don't watch so just second hand knowledge

4:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God, I miss the intercourses between Jinxy and Ridor.

Frank W.
Chantilly, VA

11:00 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

bucket -- i thought the whole ballin' with euros thing on the rap video was funny. i wonder how many of his CDs are bought with euros? i wonder how many people who saw that a) know what a euro is, and b) know that the dollar is weakening against foreign currency. maybe the next cool thing will be to walk around with a wad of monopoly money in your pocket.

frank -- i guess aural-intercourse is out of the question eh? when i met up with hammer and aua in DC we had a lot of laughs about the the jinxy vs ridor thing. particularly the fact that jinxy kept saying "um, im not saying anything about you being deaf. im saying you're acting like babies," then ridor would call him a "hearist".

my favorite comment on that whole thing wsa an anonymous comment that said, "Wow, you're gay AND deaf? God must really hate you." AUA may or may not have taken credit fro that. :D

12:20 PM  

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