Thursday, March 01, 2007

Phone Phun

Here's a little general update -- make things light and apolitical and try to stay on the topic of Japan.

I love having a camera phone in Japan, because the cameras are pretty good quality (if you use em right) and more importantly, if I see something funny, I can take a picture of it.

First and foremost, I have an announcement -- I'm engaged. :) I aksed the girl you may have seen on here from time to time to marry me and she said yes. It was one of those cool question poppings where you know the answer before you aks it, but women like doing things by the rules. So I did. She's definitely the cat's meow, and we have a special thing going. We are also probably the only two people on the planet willing to put up with each other's shit, which is a most rare find and a beautiful thing. We'll get murred April 23rd, and have a ceremony in January over here.

So I'll start my photo montage by doing what I do best, which is to piss her off.

Item 1: Kotatsu-mania

Here's a little picture I took of us chilling in the kotatsu cuz Japanese apartments don't have central heating and they're cold as hell.

She insists she looks horrible, but I think she looks super duper.

Item 2: Deepressing Coffee

Japanese people like to combine English words to make up new words which native speakers cannot understand. This confuses them a lot because they think they're being helpful, but we have no idea what they're saying. It's called gairaigo, literally "outside come language" (外来語). These clever word combos can be pretty funny, like the following coffee that I bought:

It sounds like some kind've Eye-tralian mental condition, but no, it's just "Deep Espresso". Not too bad tasting, either.

Item 3: I LOVE that movie !!

While I was ring shopping, I saw an advertisement for a ring called the "Trilogy Ring", which is three diamonds on one ring representing different stuff. I got a big kick out of it so surreptitiously snapped of a picture, because you're not supposed to take pictures of the rings.

It reminded me of my most favoritest trirogy ever.

Item 4: I love THAT movie, too!

Memento is one of my favorite movies, so I bought a copy for the aforementioned future missez and demanded she watch and enjoy it too, which she did. Here's the Japanese cover:

Notice anything weird?

Yeah, me neither.

Gay Pearce is a dreamboat.

Item 5: Gnarly Soft Drinks

Here's how things work in Japan:

An all you can drink "drink bar" is a buffet of drinks.

A buffet a "schmorgasbord".

Schmorgasbord comes from the word smörgåsbord.

The word smörgåsbord is from Sweden.

Vikings are from Sweden.


The first time I saw "Drink Viking", I laughed for about 10 minutes just picturing a huge viking serving drinks to Japanese people. No one else saw the humor.

Interestingly enough, I've found a rare picture of a real Soft Drink Viking, but he doesn't serve drinks, he serves people. With....them....Drinks I mean.

He's Norwegian, see. That's why it works.

Item 6: Physical Graffiti

Everyone loves the "F" word. Non-native English speakers everywhere recognize it. When I was playing blackjack in a Chinese hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea, every time someone yelled "fuck" the Chinese dealers would laugh hysterically and say, "haha! Fuck! haha!" It's taken on a life of its own as a word, and English learners are constantly trying to improve their usage of it, which leads to some really funny usage.

I've always been fascinated by graffiti, and love reading it wherever I go. I like to see what people say when they're pruposefully being naughty or sitting on the juan. The Japanese, ever industrious, have shown a knack for very succinct styles of graffiti using the linguistic object of their affection, as seen below.

She's 5'7 by the way, so you can see how tall it is. I think it's funny that some Japanese youth saw the need to write that word in such huge letters in a VERY crowded area -- about 100 meters from Nakano station. Nakano ward is the most densely populated area, so an insane amount of people walk by it every day. I'll have to see how long it stays there.

Item 7: Think of Waterfalls

Wanna go peepee but you're experiencing some stage fright? Have no fear, the Japanese have an answer for you. Some toilets are equipped with a sound system to make the sound of a stream, to assist you in overcoming your urinary disfunctions. Oh, I'm sorry, it's a Stream Melody.

And PRESS the push-button, mkay? Don't, uuh, pull it. It's not a pull-button.

Item 8: Fuji, the fickle mistress

Since I'm always bitching about Mt Fuji hiding whenever I'm near her, I thought I'd post a little pic I snapped off when I was down there helping some folks out a couple weeks ago.

OK, more after this weekend. It's going to be a kick ass weekend -- literally. I'm going to a Ninja restaurant on Saturday and K-1 on Sunday. I have my shirt all picked out.


Blogger cyberninja said...

Holy cow! Congratulations to you and the future missus!

Your wedding better be filled with Ninjas. The little plastic people on the wedding cake should be a woman in a wedding dress and a little ninja. Or just have no one next to the woman and say that your little plastic self just threw down a smokebomb and dissapeared. Do you recognize what kind of theme weddings this kind of international union opens up? Let me just give you two words:

1) Cowboy

2) Mechasamurai

Think it over, we'll talk.

12:20 AM  
Anonymous AUA said...

She's hot! As, I would imagine, is the Katatsu.

4:09 AM  
Blogger brando said...

You could have a wedding with Samuri, as Samuri are far better than Ninjas. Ninjas have the sneak around factor, but Samuri have the whoop-it-on factor.

Congrats again. Now go drink some Depressio.

5:23 AM  
Anonymous Matthew said...

Congratz, you muppet.

Yeah, I called you a muppet... I'm in a weird mood.

Seriously, congratulations!!

And hopefully I'll talk to you soon!

5:35 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

aua -- that's the beauty of em -- everyone's hot !

cory -- i thought about maybe proposing a "ninja wedding", which is where you invite everyone and then just don't show up. and when everyone freaks out, you can be like "i was there, u just didnt see me." and when they say "why didnt you show yourself?" you just look at them and roll your eyes. cuz duh - ninja wedding.

matt -- u been hanging out with brits? they love callin people muppets. :) ill be in the states in june, so we can have one of our bi-yearly 6-hour-conversations.

brando -- maybe we can have a brando themed wedding, where we wear leather policeman hats, liosten to techno, blow whistles, and men kiss men.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Consul-At-Arms said...


She's way out of your league, but most women are out of most men's league.

Accept it and be thankful.

8:58 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

i dunno about "most women", but definitely "most women we have an eye for" :)

9:01 AM  
Blogger Hammer said...

How am I only just now seeing these pics? Nice work, and congrats of course.

"I'm in ur base, serving giant soft drinks to yr d00dz!"

3:49 AM  
Blogger Bonita said... said "aks." that gives me a big warm and fuzzy. warm and fuzzy WHAT, i don't quite know....but definitely warm and fuzzy...

3:48 AM  
Blogger Travis said...

"brando -- maybe we can have a brando themed wedding, where we wear leather policeman hats, liosten to techno, blow whistles, and men kiss men."

I laughed so hard I snorted a little.

2:37 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home