Tuesday, February 13, 2007


TOKYO (AP) _ An explosion was heard near a U.S. Army base south of Tokyo late Monday and police suspected an attempted attack on the base, Kyodo News agency reported.

The blast was in the area of the U.S. Army's Camp Zama, Kyodo said. The report did not say whether there were any injuries or damage.

Police found parts of a ''launch pad'' near the base, Kyodo said, and investigators suspected a ''guerrilla attack.''

No further details were immediately available.

The coolest thing about this debacle is that they found Launchpad nearby.

I always wondered what became of him. Apparently he's shooting mortars at US bases in Japan.


I think these guys should probably keep their day jobs, assuming they have them, because they're not very good at terroristing.

In order to be a successful terrorist (or successfully carry out a terrorist operation), three things must be in place:


If you can remove any one of those three, an operation simply will not happen. Period. Marinate on it for a coupla mikes.

Ultimately you want people to have zero of the three. The fewer the better of course. In this case, all three were present, but one of the factors (MEANS) was really weak. It wasn't there, so they did their best and came up short. Sorry fellahs. Good luck next time. But you had explosive munitions in Japan, which has an insane conviction rate on crime, so good luck. Might wanna think about leaving the country.


I haven't been posting lately because I have, surprisingly enough, been pretty busy. There don't seem to be enough hours in the day. I've been training super hard; running hard at lunch and either lifting or rolling in the afternoon, and by the time 7pm hits I'm pretty much incapacitated. Sometimes I sit on my couch and zone out for two hours and can't really account for time. All of a sudden it's bedtime. Last night after rolling I went to get some groceries and I almost had to take a knee in the store due to fatigue. I don't remember the last time I was that fried -- maybe during anaerobic threshold training in college? Great stuff, but don't make any plans afterwards.
I sometimes wonder what the point is of punishing myself and putting myself through so much discomfort. Maybe it's where I'm comfortable? Maybe I've brainwashed myself into thinking that it's the only way I can really stay healthy? It is, of course, and I think I'm in much better shape than most people 10 years younger than me. Maybe I'm carrying around emotional baggage, everyday trying to prove to myself that I'm not a weak, chubby 17 year old who couldn't do a single pull-up or run a quarter mile without having to stop. Talk about issues. But hell, I reckon there are much worse, more self-destructive issues to have, so I'm doin' OK.

That is, of course, until Launchpad McQuack puts a mortar round through my window.

Valentines Day tomorrow. Juuuuuuuuuust might more to report after that. Sit tight.

ps: You have probably seen em already, but everytime I see one of these it blows my mind. And why on earth would anyone want to play with one?!?!

Our ligers were raised on a baby bottle, and they still enjoy getting them as treats. They are not tame from these activities, they are trained to behave. They will still bite or even kill someone given the right set of circumstances.

Suuper… Driving a car is dangerous too, but not because the car can have a bad day and bite your head off after you raise it and love it and nurture it from a baby car.


Blogger cyberninja said...

Brando told me about that on Skype this morning, and when I checked Bangkok news its all the rage (I think, its in Thai, for goshsakes).

Nevertheless, for some reason they turned off all the electricity here until 2pm, except at the university (where I am now). Coincidence? Or antiterrorism maneuvar by the military-goverened power? I report, you decide.

Glad to hear you're okay Paul. Keep doing your karate attack rolls so when you come across a bunch of terrorists putting together a mortar you can do arm-bendy attacks on one of them until they submit.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

the funny thing is, i had no idea about any of this until i got to work and some folks emailed me the info.

after the london bombings, all of the doors in my building were locked (cept for one) and no signs were posted outside in japanese. it looked like a zombie movie outside the building. japanese zombies milling around aimlessly scratching at the doors trying to get in, looking all lost. i beheaded 13 of them before someone filled me in on the situation.

1:48 PM  
Blogger brando said...

When I saw the headline it said something about "base south of tokyo", so I clicked on it, just in case it said Zama. Then, yup, sure enough. It was at that moment that I knew that Paul had been killed.

4:54 PM  
Blogger cyberninja said...

i beheaded 13 of them before someone filled me in on the situation.

You did the right thing then. Better to be safe than sorry (or bitten)!

5:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't hear about this at all. I have a feeling I know what you're talking about for tomorrow.

4:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that last comment was me.

your sister

4:53 AM  
Blogger Jinxy said...

Valentine's Day + INSJ = DEBACLE

I can't wait for that story.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Travis said...

I have been pretty busy with work, but I didn't hear anything about this. Funny how I know John's Big Ol fish segment was on the news, but I can't recall seeing this.

I totally forgot about Launchpad McQuack. For some reason I think he is kind of like Lowell from the show Wings. I know, I am sad for having ever watched Wings.

9:59 PM  
Blogger Travis said...

Speaking of bad shows, did you watch Perfect Strangers? Man, I loved Balki.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

i always thought ameninejad (dont feel like looking up proper spelling) looked like bronson pinchot aka balki.

i always felt bad for bronson. every time he makes an appearance, millions of people say "hey its balki". im sure people love screaming it at him on the street too. why do people scream stuff on the street? do people really think that theyre being original by screaming HEY BALKI at poor bronson, screaming YOU'RE FIRED! at trump, or standing on a bridge and shouting STROKE, STROKE when a rowing team goes by? i bet theyre the same people who write lol after everything on the innernets and write stuff on youtube like "Not funny." or "my friend can do that this guy sux lolz".


9:06 AM  
Anonymous Peltgrande said...


12:00 PM  
Blogger Travis said...

Just kidding, but when you wrote STROKE. STROKE. I thought of people having a stroke in the ER. I could maybe slip in brief fast words when I was talking to patients. Like the whole 'meow' thing. It might be considered unethical. "so, you started having, (stroke), weakness in your face one (stroke) hour ago? and such...

12:21 PM  

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